Saturday, August 21, 2010

"But the fruit of the Spirit is...SELF CONTROL"

We have come to the last fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians. This fruit is Self Control. How many of you struggle with this one? Randomly chosen to share thoughts on this is my new friend Melissa Heim.

I had the privilege of meeting Melissa two years ago this month. This was totally a God thing that we were able to meet. Let me explain how this happened. I've written about our time at SonScape before (you can see this in my blog archives), but it was at SonScape Retreats in Colorado that I met Melissa. Matt and I had gone there for a week for ministry and marriage renewal, refreshment, and encouragement. Melissa and her husband Luke, were there as well for many of the same things. We, along with some other great couples and now friends of ours, were all basically thrown into a room together for an entire week. Luke and Melissa were two of those that were so easy for us to get to know. They are a special couple with 3 great kids and a love for God! And a little known fact: In getting to know Melissa that week, we found out that she has cousins in a small town of Tyro where my husband is from. It really is a small world! :)

I wanted to include Melissa in this fruit of the Spirit series because she has worked with youth and now with young families alongside her husband. So she brings some wisdom and years in the ministry as well. She is young, but also is mature and desires to do what God wants her to do. Please open up your heart and mind to what she has to share with you. What area of your life do you need to seek God's help in concerning "self control"?


Name: Melissa Heim
Hometown: Oakley, KS (western plains close to the Colorado border)
Married to: Luke Heim for almost 8 years now. He was a youth pastor for most of that time, and has recently been “promoted” to associate pastor with a focus on youth and young families.
Family: 2 daughters (Maryanne, 5 and Naomi, 3) and 1 son (Lucas, 1)
Current Living: Pueblo, CO
Hobbies: Reading, sewing, other crafts, playing the piano, garage saling, outdoorsy things (camping, hiking, etc), surfing the web (do people still call it that?!)

And now, some challenging words from Melissa...


"My name is Melissa and I am a garage sale-aholic. I go every weekend, sometimes hitting 25 plus per day! I have been in the rain, snow, and 100 degree heat, and I have waited in line for thirty minutes just to get into a good sale. Now, to defend myself a little, garage saling is part of my job. I am a stay-at-home mom, and to make a little extra to support our family, I run a small eBay business, buying people’s “treasures” and reselling them. Because I go to so many garage sales, I see a ridiculous amount of stuff, and because I see so much stuff, I am tempted to buy a lot of stuff! Obviously I can’t buy everything I want, so I must practice self-control constantly.

So what is self-control anyway? I asked my friends on Facebook what they thought, and here were some responses. Self-control is…

knowing you can, but deciding you won't.
biting your tongue, when you want to speak your mind.
knowing right from wrong and acting on it.
thinking before acting.

Then I did a Google search, and here is what I got from Wikipedia. “Self-control is the ability to control one's emotions, behavior and desires in order to efficiently manage one's future.”

Finally, I went to the Bible to see what the Ultimate Authority says about self-control. Titus 2:11-14 says, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

These verses warn us that at some point, we are going to be tempted and that we must say no to ungodliness and worldly passions. Sounds easy enough, right? Just walk away and that is it? Unfortunately, it’s not that easy, which is why people have done numerous studies to find out how we can best build self-control. From the results, some of the best techniques found to build self-control are self-denial, physical restraint, deprivation, distraction, medication and punishment.

None of these techniques sound very fun to me! I don’t want to tie myself down to avoid garage sales! Let’s go back to the Titus section again. It says that the “grace of God . . . teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions.” What I get out of this is that we’re not in this alone! Zechariah 4:6 states “'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.” The study results mentioned above definitely seem to be by “might or power” but the LORD Almighty is saying, “Hold on! It’s by my Spirit that you are going to do good things!”

But the sinful nature is powerful. Galatians 5:17 tells us that “the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other” It’s a battle every day just to live upright and godly lives! But go back one verse to 5:16 and God says “live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

If you live by the Spirit, you will be able to maintain self-control. If we are not living by the Spirit, we are living under the control of our sinful nature. Living “by the Spirit” is a conscious decision to let the Holy Spirit to be in control over our every thought, word and deed.

Proverbs 25:28 states, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." Let’s not be like these vulnerable cities, unable to defend ourselves from outside attacks. Let’s live by the Spirit and have strong walls, ones that are able to protect us from the enemy!

This week focus your prayers on self-control. What situations do you place yourself in which your walls are already weak? Make a list of areas in your life that you feel a little self-control and strength are necessary, and ask the Lord to help you overcome the temptations you face. ."


Thanks Melissa, for your challenging words to stay in tune with the Spirit. It's so easy to forget that and do what we want to do. Also, thanks for your patience in posting this! And I'm thinkin' we all need a SonScape reunion...if for no other reason than a rematch in ping pong so I can beat you this time!!! :)

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Love this! And...need it so daily I hate to admit it.

Veda Siebuhr

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, self-control. Sure hate those words because I fail so often BUT, with God's help, I do have self-control in many things BUT ONLY WITH GOD'S HELP. Thanks for sharing. --Pat--

In my favorite sport, tennis, it really is helpful to have a good serve. It could help you in winning more games. In the same way, life is a lot like that. We need to do our best in "serving" others. Jesus didn't come to be served, but to serve. There are many ways to do this. Just maybe, in our service, God will use us "to win one more" for Him...