How much do you love?

Every now and then, I write a little note to the girls and secretly pack it in their lunches. I don't do it every day, simply because I want to surprise them. I always have fun doing it, and the girls usually comment on them when they get home.

There's this one note, though, that has special meaning for me. One day last year when Rachel was in kindergarten, I put a note in her lunch that said, "I Love You". Simple, but it has so much meaning. Later when I was cleaning out her lunchbox, I found the note that I had given to her earlier that day. As I took the note out, it brought tears to my eyes. Well here, let me just show you...



















In case you can't see this clearly, I also had written on the back of the card, "Have a great day, Rachel! I love you! Mommy". Sometime during Rachel's day at school, she had written on the card back to me, "I Love You More". Ok...I'm crying again just even typing this!

How much do you love? I know I love my husband and girls with ALL of my heart. It's humbling to think that when Rachel saw those words, that she would respond back to me with, "I Love You More". But that's how much she loves. She's unashamed about it and when Rachel loves, she loves deeply. Again, I ask you, "How much do you love?" If you were face to face with Jesus right now and he said to you, "I Love You"...would your response be, "I Love You More"?? This has really made me stop and think, because my lips may say it, but my actions don't always show it. I know how much love Jesus has for me. After all, I am His child. And we all know how much we love our children...that's a lot of love. But He loves us more, don't you think? Our love fails at times, but His never does. Here's my prayer..."Jesus, thank you for just how much you love me, and I do love you...but help me to love you MORE!"

"...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ..."
Ephesians 3:18

"What Have I Done?"

I'm sure you've heard of the Christian artist Jeremy Camp. I didn't realize until the other day that his wife, Adie, also sings. She sings the song, "What Have I Done?" I had heard it before, but didn't know she is one who sings it until just this last week. Here's the opening verses of the song...

"What have I done Lord Jesus to deserve your endless love,
What have I done Lord Jesus to be worthy of your grace,
What have I done Lord Jesus to be standing here with you,
What have I done Lord Jesus to be worthy of you..."

As I was driving home one day, this song came on and not that I've never entertained this thought before, but I suddenly realized that I have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve the endless love and grace that only Jesus offers. It's amazing, isn't it? To think that the God of this universe sent the only child he had...for me, and for you. Wow, if that doesn't drive you to tears, then I don't know what will.

Sometimes, it's easy to want to throw ourselves a party...as my husband calls it, it's called a big "Pity Party". Well, last week, on this particular day, I really wanted to host my own pity party...of course, I would've been the guest of honor. This song came on and it was as if God was saying to me, "C'mon Jenn, snap out of it! Yes, times are tough for you right now, but really, it will all be okay because I am here for YOU. No, you didn't do anything to deserve my love, but I am giving it to you simply because I want to. You are my child and I care for you."

Well, that was like a big spankin' for me! Maybe I deserved it. A little discipline now and then is good, right? I sure haven't done anything to deserve Jesus' endless love and grace, and I definitely have done everything to not deserve it! He provides it anyway. And I am thankful...

Macayla Dawn

Well tonight at 6:29 p.m., our oldest daughter Macayla, will officially be 9 years old. I remember the day so well. She was born in Olney, Illinois. A long day of laboring, only to learn that she had to be born cesarean. To this new mom, that was totally unexpected! She weighed 8 lbs., 12 oz. and was 20" long with a full...and I mean FULL head of coal black hair! She was beautiful and that is an understatement! She slept all the time and was the best little baby, always smiling at people. She walked at 10 months and was talking in complete sentences way earlier than she should've been! As I reflect back to that day 9 years ago, I think of the saying that is so true..."Where has the time gone?"

I can't believe that she's 9 today...especially when I think that in 9 more years, she will be graduating from high school. YIKES! Before I had kids, I used to hear wise people say that the first five years of a child's life is so important, and to teach them all you can while they are young. I agree with that. However, I have learned that every single day is just as important, not just the days before age five. As a mom, I try to make the most of every day for my girls. I wish I could say I am successful at that each day...I'm not. I do try, though.

Each year, when my girls celebrate a birthday, I can tell that they've grown up a little...getting taller, more or less teeth, using bigger words, different interests, learning new things, the list can go on. I get most excited though, when I see my kids grow spiritually. Yes, part of that comes with age, but a huge part of that comes from us, as parents. We can't just hope that they "catch on"...we have to teach them "on purpose" the things that Jesus wants them to know. My girls will mature and grow and learn spiritually because of the job that Matt and I have in teaching them...every single day.

Happy 9th Birthday, Macayla! We love you and are proud of you! And by the way, you are still beautiful...
Mommy and Daddy

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